Vanquishing The Monster

I awoke today filled with excitement. Today was the day I had been looking forward to for months. Today was the day I was going to prove that "I am a better parent than you". Today was the day that all the planning and plotting and trying to figure out how to get people on "our side" had led up to. Today was the day I was finally going to come face to face with the monster. The monster has lived so vividly in my mind over the past few months. Today was the day that monster was going to be banished from our lives.....forever. Sheer excitement because after all, monsters have no place in our lives, right? I hopped in the shower, then put on my combat gear, which normally would be considered my "Sunday best", that I had carefully chosen the night before. That's what people like me do when we go out to slay monsters... right? I take one last look in the mirror. I give one of those, "Damn! You look good, boy. Now go kick some monster ass!!!" glances, as I turn the light out and walk away. Yup, I'm gonna show that monster that I am way better than it is. See, my shoes even shine...word on the street is that shiny shoes always distract monsters. My husband and I meet in the kitchen and compliment each other on our respective combat gear choices, then off we go to we went to kick some monster bootay!